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Post by Robert Ashter on Sept 23, 2014 11:08:24 GMT -5
story of a heartbroken soul
MEET MARCUS
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Ulrich was once again at Flourish and Blotts. Sitting in a corner of the store, he was trying to be as invisible as possible, making barely a sound as he wrote down the information he gathered from the book. He knew it was not the most ideal situation for the store. They sold books, not shared them. But it wasn't like he could pay for them all. If Ulrich knew of a place where he could borrow these books, he would go there, but he didn't and his ability to move around England was limited so the bookstore in Diagon Alley was the best place he found to learn.
It had been three years now that he worked at the apothecary. He learned a great deal about potions and ingredients and how to prepare them but he still couldn't do a lot. The man preferred to leave the boring tasks to the squib, such as filling the shelves or sweeping the floor, things that would take him only the time to cast a spell to do normally. But Ulrich never complained. He had a room, despite being tiny, and food in his stomach and he could do what he wanted and ever read the man's books during his breaks. In a sense, it was more than he ever had.
[b]“Hm, excuse me?”[/b]
Ulrich lifted up his head. A young boy, someone he had not seen before, stood there in front of him. Ulrich thought he knew every employee but he didn’t know this one. But he was an employee. He had a pile of books that needed to be placed on the shelves sitting neatly in a small cart next to him. He had a sheepish expression on his face as he looked at him.
[b]“I was told to tell you this isn’t a library. You either buy the book or go.”[/b]
Ulrich said nothing. He blinked, staring at the boy. He was not the first one who said this to him. The owner tolerated him to an extent but he didn't like having someone who constantly came and never bought anything. The employee swayed from one foot to the other, obviously not liking the situation he was in thanks to his boss.
[b]“Look, I’m sorry, but I’m new. This is my first job, I don’t want to lose it.”[/b]
[b]“Then you might not put astrology books in the astronomy section,”[/b] Ulrich replied, pointing at some of the books he saw on his cart. Marcus frowned and stared at them, reading the titles. They were in the astronomy section but, as Ulrich said, he brought with him several books that should go in the divination section of the store.
Marcus had a bright smile when he looked at Ulrich. [b]“Thank you. Look, I’ll go put them back and then those here. If you’re gone by that time, no one will have a problem, alright?”[/b]
Ulrich sighed but nodded. He would have preferred to have more time but he also knew there was a limit to what he may do. If he angered the employees too much, he wouldn’t even have the right to set foot in here. Was it really his fault if he wanted to read everything but didn’t have the money to buy the whole place? This was why he agreed.
[b]“Great,”[/b] the boy said, his smile still on. He seemed about to leave but turned back towards Ulrich. [b]“You wouldn’t happen to know which one is the divination section?”[/b]
BATH TIME
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Ulrich wasn't sure of the right attitude to have around Marcus. He never had a roommate so it wasn't like he really knew about it but he was pretty sure one wouldn't act around like this if he was just a roommate. It was more than Marcus’ tendency of not liking to walk around in underwear when he had no plan made for the day. It took Ulrich by surprise of course but he preferred to think it was a good thing he actually put on something and didn't just wander around the place completely naked. This was just one of the many things that got Ulrich confused about his friend.
If Ulrich ever happened to be in the way, the boy would place a hand on his hip to warn him as he squeezed his way passed him. He knew he was not very large, but he was tall, there were plenty of other parts he could hold, or just warn him. Marcus got themselves one very big bed instead of two small ones. There was more than enough room for them to sleep on their side of it but Ulrich found out the other boy liked to snuggle. He would apologize on a tired tone if he had Ulrich jump out f his skin, he would turn away, but it generally didn’t take too long for him to take Ulrich for a teddy bear you could cuddle. Not to add that when he found out the older man had not seen much of life, he dragged him to every restaurant, park, museum, garden and concert hall he knew, holding his hand to make sure he’d follow should he ever take too much time. He was always so enthusiastic.
And what was he supposed to make of the backrubs? If Ulrich happened to feel a bit stiff after working long hours standing with a mortar and pestle, Marcus would suggest rubbing his shoulders. The first time, he objected but he didn’t seem to care and did it anyway. All of this, all those intentions he gave him, it was so unusual to Ulrich, he wasn’t sure how to react. He never had someone who cared like this about him and it had Ulrich grow dependent of him yet at the same time wanting to move away from the young man. There were just certain things he didn’t think were appropriate to feel.
It was rare for him to be home before Marcus but it was the case today and he decided to take advantage of that to take a long bath. Their shower was still not working very well, unless it was planned to take the skin along with the dirt, then it worked perfectly. But Ulrich rarely took the time to relax. This evening, he could, so he chose to do it. He even put some perfumed bubble bath in it. Marcus seemed to like this so why not enjoy it as well?
He had been in it for about ten minutes, having just the time to start relaxing and to lit a cigarette that he heard the door of the apartment opening. Marcus must have arrived.
[b]“Uli?”[/b]
Yes, he was there.
[b]“Bathroom,”[/b] Ulrich simply answered.
[b]“Ugh, those inventories will be the death of me. And he wanted to wash the whole place thoroughly. Crazy bastard,”[/b] Marcus said as he entered the bathroom. Just like the wandering around in boxers, Ulrich had grown used to it. Besides, there was only one bathroom for the two of them, it happened sometimes they had to share. He was not prepared for what was to follow however.
[b]“A bath, what a great idea. That’ll be relaxing.”[/b]
Ulrich didn’t think he meant this particular bath. But he was forced to see that Marcus was undressing himself. He startled as he understood what his plan was but it wasn’t like he wanted to get out of his bath. He wasn’t exactly wearing more than his friend right now.
[b]“You don’t mind? I mean, this tub is big enough for the two of us, look,”[/b] Marcus asked. Of course, asking before actually joining in might have been a good idea. But there really was room for the two of them. It was a deep and long tub and they only had to bend their knees for the two of them to fit nicely in it.
[b]“You’re smoking even in your bath?! What’s so good about this anyway?”[/b]
Ulrich would have given him his cigarette but Marcus stole it from between his fingers so he could taste what it was like. Ulrich chuckled as he watched him choke after inhaling deeply.
[b]“Yeah, I think that’s not for me.”[/b]
[b]“Obviously.”[/b] And he took it back. The boy didn’t have to take in his vices.
TRUTH OR DARE AND FIRST KISS
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Truth or dare was really a silly game. Ulrich had no idea what it was until they decided to play it, all six of them. Marcus had invited a couple of friends home. Anthony, Juliette, Sophia, Jeremy, Marcus and himself, all together, drinking and listening to music and dancing, totally ignoring any neighbour that might not like the noise. There was a cloud of smoke forming above them as Sophia, Anthony and Ulrich often walked around with a cigarette in their hand. It took some time, and almost two beers, for Ulrich to start to relax. He told Marcus he wasn’t used to people, that he didn’t like socializing much but the man just never listened. He claimed Ulrich had simply not met the people he wanted to socialize with and made it his mission in life to introduce him to as many people as possible. Most of them were muggles. Despite being a half-blood who spent years at Hogwarts, those Marcus was closest to happened to generally be muggles. This time, he knew that Juliette was a witch but the others, he had no idea. It wasn’t like they were talking a lot about magic to begin with. Either Marcus told them Ulrich was a muggle or a squib or they just never decided to talk of this.
Instead, they wanted to play truth or dare. They had a way of playing it however. Since it was easy for some people not to know what to ask or dare someone, that was mostly Ulrich here, they wrote several questions and challenges on papers and had two bowls, one for each option. The way they played, you simply had to name someone and that person would choose, then you picked in the matching bowl. Marcus and Jeremy seemed to have a lot of imagination as they wrote most of them whereas Ulrich only wrote a few. He had really no idea. They all sat around the coffee table, tossing cushions to the ground so everyone would be comfortable.
The game went on. Questions ranged from what’s your biggest fear to which one in this room would you like to see naked. As for dares, well they were just as diversified. Anthony ended up with a turban made of toilet paper, Juliette only had her bra and was currently sitting on Jeremy who also took his shirt off after he lied to the floor while they poured his beer in his mouth and he tried to drink it, everything around him getting more of it than his mouth. Ulrich mostly took questions, not caring if they thought he was a chicken because of this.
[b]“Marcus, your turn,”[/b] Sophia said, staring at the boy.
[b]“I pick dare, of course.”[/b]
She grabbed a paper in the bowl. Despite how they had done several truths and dares already, the bowls still held more than enough to go one for a few more hours.
[b]“Kiss someone of the same sex,”[/b] she read. And a bunch of kissing sounds were heard before they laughed. They clearly drank too much already.
Marcus laughed with them while Ulrich only had a smile. He didn't notice how Marcus stared at him. They were close of each other and so Marcus leaned in, giving only the time for Ulrich to flinch as he pecked his lips.
[b]“No way, that’s not a kiss, we want the real thing,”[/b] Sophia objected and everyone else joined her in her protest. Ulrich stared at them, wondering what the hell they were thinking but Marcus only chuckled and shrugged before holding the other man’s head and kissing him.
At first, Ulrich meant to only keep their lips pressed against each other but he felt the boy’s tongue trying to pierce through the wall of teeth. Ulrich finally opened his mouth, only a little, and he felt it come in. Marcus was now holding him tighter as he forced Ulrich to open his mouth more. When it was over, Ulrich blinked. It could have lasted five seconds or five minutes, he wasn’t quite sure. Marcus laughed, finding his face pretty funny and went back with the game.
Two hours later, the game was over and Anthony was the last one to leave. Ulrich had not kissed anyone else during the game. He also didn't smoke or drank anything else. He kind of wanted to keep the taste on his lips while he still could.
[b]“Well, I’m beat, I think I’ll go to bed and clean tomorrow,”[/b] Marcus said. He stopped though seeing how Ulrich seemed to be in a daze.
[b]“Earth to Ulrich?”[/b] he said, trying to catch his attention. The squib startled and stared at his friend, waiting for him to repeat. But Marcus only smiled. [b]“What’s gotten into you?”[/b]
[b]“Nothing,”[/b] Ulrich simply replied, scratching the back of his head. [b]“You’re right, we’ll clean tomorrow.”[/b]
Ulrich tried to leave to their bedroom but Marcus grabbed his arm. [b]“I liked that kiss too, you know,”[/b] he told Ulrich. He planted a brief kiss on the boy’s lips before laughing and heading to their bedroom, taking his shirt off and tossing it on the floor. As for Ulrich, he stood there, frozen. It took him a moment before he went to bed, convincing himself it was just the alcohol. They really drank too much that night.
MEETING LILITH AND PANDORA
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align="justify"]Ulrich couldn't believe how diverse Marcus’ social circle was. The man was dragging him around everywhere he went. He seemed to find very sad the fact he was about Ulrich’s only friend and so wanted him to meet lots of people. Get out of his shell a little. Ulrich liked his shell but it wasn’t like Marcus was leaving him much of a choice. Besides, Ulrich was not really fighting against him over this. So he meant that jock guy coaching a girl’s football team as Marcus brought him to a game. He never watched football but the rules were fairly simple. As long as you understand the players cannot touch the ball with their hands and must kick it in the other team’s goal, the rest was easy. Then there was this girl whose job was to make chocolate in a sweet shop but her real passion was to do what she called cosplay. She loved making costume and when Marcus found out he never disguised himself for Halloween, he helped her host a costume party so that Ulrich could do that. There was also this guy studying psychology that Marcus said he sometimes loved the sound of his own voice. Ulrich assumed it was the polite way of saying he was an arrogant, selfish bastard. But he also happened to know every best place in town to hear jazz music. Speaking of music, there was this guy who played in the subway, the streets and anywhere else he could and knew where you could find a free concert or at least a cheap one.
And there was Pandora. Ulrich liked her. She was a free spirit also, like most of Marcus’ friends. All of them muggles, of course. She was an artist, a painter. A rather good one, he supposed. Lilith was with her. He knew her real name was Lila but apparently she wanted to pretend she had a more mythological name. The fact it was a demonic girl didn’t seem to bother her at all. She probably didn’t know. From what he understood, she was Pandora’s latest muse and happened to stay with her in her apartment. Apartment that wasn’t that much bigger than theirs, Ulrich noticed. Except she had a decent balcony.
He understood the two girls were sleeping together but they were not only sleeping together. Lilith claimed it was so ridiculous to put people in categories and everything. Her speech seemed rehearsed, as if she was repeated words of another without understanding its true meaning. Her speech, the sound of her voice, everything about her was so annoying to him. Pandora was much more interesting, with her long dark hair falling to her hips in black locks. Her dress was flowing around her. That woman knew she had a mysterious, enthralling aura surrounding her.
[b]“Oh no, please, not in the house. I hate the scent of the smoke,”[/b] Lilith complained as soon as he pulled out a cigarette.
He stared at her, the cigarette tucked between his lips. Looks like he had no choice. He left them and went outside on the balcony. The cool breeze made him shiver at first. He was not there for more than five seconds than five seconds that she already started to talk with Marcus again as if he was never there. He saw an ashtray tied to the ramp and two chairs around it. He sat on one and was soon joined by Pandora.
[b]“Mind if I join you?”[/b] she asked, a cigarette between her fingers.
[b]“It’s your balcony,”[/b] he replied, lighting the cigarette for her.
Pandora inhaled deeply, her gaze wandering off in the distance for a moment. She looked from another time like this. That was what this aura was all about. She seemed very modern yet very old at the same time.
[b]“Lilith has a tendency of forgetting that. You don’t talk a lot, do you?”[/b]
[b]“Why should I talk if I have nothing to say?”[/b]
[b]“Everyone has something to say. We’ve got enough of other people censoring us, you shouldn’t start doing it on yourself as well.”[/b] She had an enigmatic smirk on her face as she talked. Ulrich replied with one of his.
[b]“Then let’s say I have nothing of importance to say.”[/b]
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[div align="justify"]Pandora let out a little sound as she nodded her head, her smile now more amused than anything else. Ulrich should be used of these free spirited friends of Marcus. The boy seemed to share their carefree personality as well, something Ulrich did not. He felt so out of place around here.
[b]“I think she’s enjoying your friend’s company very much,”[/b] she said, leaning towards him as she talked. Ulrich frowned but understood she was talking of Lilith. He turned his face and saw her straddling Marcus and kissing him. Ulrich turned his head. He didn’t like when someone was all over the boy but he also didn’t like when Marcus was all over him. It was all very confusing in his head.
[b]“I thought she was a lesbian,”[/b] he admitted. It was what you called two women together after all, no?
[b]“She’s whatever she wants to be. You know, she was right. It’s silly to put people in boxes. We can never fit in one only. And we’re young, we should enjoy life and experiment at it while the world still allows us.”[/b]
On that, she kissed him. He was surprised by it but he didn’t turn away. She dragged him to her, forcing Ulrich to leave the chair and kneel in front of her to keep kissing her.
[b]“Let’s head back inside,”[/b] she said, leaving him panting there, on the floor of her balcony. She turned as she entered the apartment, nodding for him to join her.
When he woke up the next morning, his head was killing him. They drank too much last night, all of them. And he found out he was holding a leg. He followed it and saw, lying on the other side of the bed, Lilith. Pandora was next to her and, at the end of it, Marcus. All of them naked. Oh right, after he slept with Pandora while the other two had some action in the living room, they joined in to sleep all real close of each other in that bed. A good thing it was as big as the one they owned in their apartment. Lilith wanted to snuggle Pandora to sleep.
That mystery solved, he turned his head and found an alarm clock. This discovery got him to jump out of bed with a muttered curse, something that only did worse to his headache but he didn’t care. The other bodies moved, groaned from being disturbed.
[b]“Uli, what are you doing?”[/b] Marcus’ voice said in a very tired tone.
[b]“I’m late for work, my boss will kill me.”[/b]
[b]“Just say you’re sick.”[/b]
That was Marcus’ solution and on that he went back to sleep. Ulrich didn’t have that luxury. He still needed to figure a way to get back to the Leaky Cauldron and from there, to Diagon Alley. He left them to sleep, he ran out of the house, looking disheveled. [/div][/blockquote][/blockquote]
LILLITH, CONCERT, OFFICIAL
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Lilith came in again. Apparently, Pandora had found a new muse and made it clear to the other woman that she needed to space. Ulrich feared she’d come over here, expect the boys to let her stay. He knew Marcus would allow that and Ulrich would then have no other choice but to accept. He didn’t want to. He never liked her. But, must be his lucky day, she said she was staying with another one of their friends. Simon, the one who played music in the subway. She even, apparently, started playing with him now and then. She’ll never make a living out of this and didn’t intend to leave her job as a waitress but she liked it. Ulrich especially liked the fact she was not to stay with them.
They wanted to see a concert tonight, that was meant to be played outside for anyone who wanted to hear it. And Lilith decided to show up early, so they could enjoy themselves a little before going there. Ulrich thought she meant sex and he didn’t like it too much. In the end, sex might have been a better option. She brought a joint for them to share.
Ulrich tried once or twice some ingredients they had at the shop that may have hallucinogenic effects but he never smoked weed. Kind of ironic as he was the only smoker in here. He mostly didn't want to end up being rude to her. So far, he managed to keep his thoughts about the girl for himself but her constant blabber and the way she kept throwing herself at Marcus annoyed him. A lot.
He knew he was no lover to Marcus. They had something. They slept together, kissed, snuggled, took baths together. Ulrich was the one having to watch Marcus walk around in underwear every day. But they were no lover. It was not exclusive. Especially on Marcus’ part. He kept talking about experimenting, about having no preference and just wanting to try things and enjoy life. He was nothing more, a toy. One amongst many, as he that mouth kissed other people, those hands touched other bodies and he slept with other ‘friends’. Like Lilith. Ulrich was growing jealous of it. But he couldn’t phrase it like that. Marcus was too much of a free spirit for him and not accepting the little he gave him would mean not having him at all, he was sure of this.
Smoking weed was maybe not an option, with his current state of mind. But he did. They ended up talking, smoking, talking, laughing, drinking a bit, smoking again, laughing even more.
[b]“You never shut up, do you?”[/b] Ulrich said to Lilith.
She laughed hard at this. [b]“Nope. It’s always been a problem, people keep telling me that.”[/color]
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[b]“I should just cut your tongue. It will make life easier.”[/b]
On that, Lilith laughed, Marcus laughed and even Ulrich ended up laughing. He fetched some scissors, as if he was serious about this. She darted her tongue at him.
[b]“You’ll thank me later.”[/b] He said. He nearly cut it for real. She felt the metallic blade on her tongue and suddenly went back to her senses, shoving him away.
[b]“You crazy, you nearly cut it for real!”[/b] she screeched.
Ulrich stared at her and at the scissors. No he didn’t. Did he?
[b]“Come on, it was just for fun. Anyway, we should go or we’ll be late for the show,”[/b] Marcus said.
Lilith kept staring at Ulrich for a moment, as if he had really lost his mind but shook herself up and gave Marcus a smile, agreeing with him. Ulrich nodded as well, dropped the scissors on the coffee table and joined them.
The concert wasn’t so bad but Ulrich was not concentrating on it. He kept thinking about Lilith and what nearly happened. He disliked her, he knew that. He wanted her to stay away from Marcus. Or, to be exact, he wanted to be closer to him while she remained a friend and nothing more. He didn't like to feel her next to them, next to him.
He turned around at some point and saw her dancing real close to Marcus. To be closer, she’d be inside of him. Ulrich walked away. He had seen enough. He didn’t come here to watch Marcus have fun with her, especially when she was his friend he liked the least. Marcus saw it though, tried to stop.
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[b]“Come on, aren’t you enjoying yourself?”[/color] he asked. Marcus leaned towards Ulrich to kiss him but the man pushed him away. They all started at each other. Ulrich was not one to go on an outburst like this but he nearly made Marcus fall to the ground. They all seemed shocked about it for a moment and people started to stare at them, probably thinking they were drunk or something. Ulrich chose to leave them at their concert and returned home.
He barely recalled the drive home. He only wanted to be back in there, away from Lilith and Marcus and the confusion. He opened one of the windows wide and rested on what the owner dared call a balcony. The cool breeze helped him clear his mind a little. When he heard the door closing behind him, he didn't even turn to see if Marcus was accompanied. He preferred not to know.
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Marcus came to the other window, opened it without saying a word. He stood against the frame, on that ledge.
[b]“The sky isn’t too bad tonight. You could almost see the stars.”[/b] he said, staring at the sky and not at Ulrich.
[b]“Yeah, if it wasn’t for that big building blocking the view.”[/b]
An awkward silence happened between the two. Ulrich hated to talk about his behaviour. He couldn’t understand it, how was he supposed to explain it to someone else.
[b]“What’s going on? I know you don’t like her but this isn’t like you?”[/b]
Of course, it had to be Marcus who broke the silence. He always did. But what could Ulrich say?
[b]“Why do you always have to do this?”[/b]
[b]“Do what?”[/b] Marcus really seemed puzzled as to what he might have done.
[b]“This. Make it like nothing matters.”[/b]
[b]“We were just dancing.”[/b]
[b]“You know what I’m talking about.”[/b]
Ulrich didn't want to say more. Marcus was not looking at the sky anymore, he had his gaze turned inside their home, turned at Ulrich. He seemed to wait for something else to come. But his friend didn’t say another word.
[b]“Maybe I should just go, obviously you don’t want of me anymore.”[/b] Marcus said. And he jumped.
[b]“MARCUS!”[/b]
[b]“What?”[/b]
[b]“You bastard.”[/b]
Of course, he didn't really jump. He was holding onto the balcony, a mischievous smile on his face. Ulrich could just slap him.
[b]“Come over here,”[/b] Marcus said, forcing Ulrich to join him on the small ledge between the two windows. Ulrich was unsure of this. They could fall and even if it was only a bit more than two floors, it was the pavement under them. He might very well break his spine and be paralyzed forever. Marcus didn't seem that worried. He was holding Ulrich’s waist, still smiling at him.
[b]“What’s the real deal?”[/b] he asked in a whisper.
[b]“I don’t like sharing you,”[/b] Ulrich finally admitted.
[b]“Then don’t.”[/b]
Ulrich blinked. He wasn’t sure if that really meant what he thought it meant.
[b]“Hey, you idiots! Go back inside before you hurt yourself?”[/b] they could hear coming from the building in front of them. Ulrich turned his head to look, stared back at Marcus, laughing at this.
[b]“You’re going to kiss me or what?[/b]
MARCUS CONVINCES HIM NOT TO GO TO WORK
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Ulrich really shouldn't have said he wanted them to be an official couple. Since that day, considering they end up sleeping together every night, and very close to each other, Marcus seemed to think that wearing anything was only an option while wandering around the apartment. As if seeing him in his underwear was not distracting enough.
He was not up yet right now, Ulrich was safe. He was making breakfast. Unlike someone, he had to work today. The sound of the butter in the pan prevented him from hearing the bedroom door opening and without anything in his feet, Marcus managed to walk the distance between them unnoticed. That is, until he wrapped his arm around Ulrich’s stomach and forced himself to stand on his toes so he could look over Ulrich’s shoulder.
[b]“I hope you’re making food for two,”[/b] he said.
Ulrich wasn’t but with a little smile, he didn’t mind the extra work here. When you make bacon and eggs for one, it was very easy to make for two. Except when your lover keeps pressing his slightly cold nose against your neck, then it might be a little distracting. His breathing sent shivers of pleasure down Ulrich’s spine. Oh, he knew what he was doing. Marcus didn’t have to kiss him the way he did for Ulrich to know he wanted to keep him here for a little longer. Except that a little longer meant Ulrich would be late.
[b]“Here’s your egg,” he said, handing Marcus a plate.
Marcus stared at it for a moment. [b]“You’re no fun.”[/b]
Ulrich had another silent chuckle shaking his shoulders before he finished cooking his breakfast and joined Marcus at the table. He knew he was not about to leave it there. Just the way he ate his bacon, staring at Ulrich at the same time, it proved he was not giving up.
Ulrich pretended he did not see it however. He couldn’t afford to be late. Well, technically he could. He was probably the best employee that man ever had, worked all kinds of crazy hours and barely ever took a day off. But it was not in him to be late, let alone point out that doing so once was not that big of a deal should he complain about it.
Marcus was already working his way to convince him into staying though. He moved his chair as close as he could from his side of the table so he could have one of his hands wander over to Ulrich’s thigh. He let him do it. He actually enjoyed it, even if he knew it would make it harder to get away. When he walked to the sink to clean his plate, Marcus joined him. He resumed his kissing, tugging at Ulrich’s shirt.
[b]“Come on, Mark, I have to work.”[/b]
[b]“Just ten minutes.”[/b]
[b]“It’s never really just ten minutes with you.”[/b]
Marcus didn’t take it as an offence, he merely slid his hands underneath Ulrich’s shirt. He still had enough willpower to leave, of course, but Ulrich didn’t feel much like doing it. He turned around and loosely wrapped his arms around Marcus’ waist, letting the other man press himself against him. He really wanted it today, he was kissing him over and over.
[b]“I’ll be late for work,”[/b] he repeated.
[b]“So? Tell him you’re sick, or that I injured myself and you had to stay around, or that thieves came in last night and stole all of your clothes.”[/b]
Ulrich laughed at the last one but still pushed Marcus away. [b]“You’re just being silly now.”[/b]
[b]“I’ll see our neighbour then. Maybe she’ll want to keep me company since you don’t want to.”[/b]
[b]“Marcus, she’s seventy.”[/b]
[b]“Precisely. She’s got no teeth.”[/b]
[b]“And now you’re just gross.”[/b] Ulrich planned on leaving before he got caught again but Marcus pushed him over the couch and sat on the arm of it so that his forehead could rest against Ulrich’s. Ulrich simply looked at him, feeling his thumb brushing his cheek. Staying was awfully tempting, he had to admit. [b]“Come on. Not all day, just a little longer,”[/b] Marcus whispered. Ulrich could barely breathe. Marcus was purposefully keeping his face close enough for him to feel his breath but not enough for Ulrich to feel his lips. He was doing it on purpose, so that Ulrich would be the one kissing him. Like this, he would know he won.
And he did. Ulrich just couldn’t deal with it any longer, he grabbed Marcus and kissed him with passion. He was pretty sure the boy was smiling, savouring his victory. [b]“Just an hour, or I’m dead.”[/b]
[b]“And we both don’t want that,”[/b] Marcus replied with a playful smirk. he pulled away and worked on undressing Ulrich.
PANDORA AND THEY'RE DATING
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[div align=justify][blockquote][blockquote][b]“So, what do you think?”[/b]
Was Pandora really asking their opinion on her latest work? When Marcus heard she was picking a few of her pieces for a show, he wanted them to come over and support her. Even if the show was not now. Ulrich didn't see what help they can give her at choosing her favourite work. She was the artist, she should choose. But Marcus never really needed an excuse to visit a friend, he just did. And he brought his lover with him.
She had quite a bunch of painted canvasses resting against the walls, separated by a large piece of paper so they would not get damaged. She made three piles mainly, one for those she would definitely show, one she would never and one she wasn’t certain yet. It was this pile they were looking at.
Or more like, they were looking at the portrait she made of Ulrich.
[b]“It’s so realistic. And you got his grumpy expression perfectly,”[/b] Marcus said, teasing the real Ulrich here, of course. Ulrich had a little smirk at the remark. Marcus was behind him, kind of a bad idea considering he was smaller than Ulrich and so had to stand on his toes to rest his head over Ulrich’s shoulder, an arm wrapped over the man’s chest.
[b]“Hey, you’d give it to me? He’s always working so much I sometimes wonder if he ever comes home at all,”[/b] he added, again, teasing.
[b]“No way. You got the real thing, leave the portrait to me.”[/b]
[b]“Fair enough.”[/b]
And on that, Marcus kissed Ulrich’s cheek, making the man smile again. Marcus eventually left them after another hour of checking her paintings to decide which one should be seen by everyone. He said they needed actual food, not just the few remaining beers she had in her fridge so he left to pick up something at the Chinese restaurant down the street.
[b]“You don’t mind? Us?”[/b] Ulrich asked her as they cleaned the place a little. Pandora blinked at his questions, not really seeing what she could say to that. [b]“You always say we can’t put people in boxes, that we should experiment while we still can, and we’re together and not seeing anyone else .”[/b]
[b]“You’re experimenting. You’re experimenting life together. I think it’s nice. And he’s happy, I can tell.”[/b]
Ulrich smiled again, a brighter one this time. Pandora knew him for a while, Marcus said they had been friends for years. Of course, being friends for years with Marcus might just mean he met her a few weeks before he first introduced her to Ulrich. The boy didn’t seem to care about time much. But he loved to have someone who knew Marcus at least as much as he seemed to know him claim that he was happy. because Ulrich definitely was happy.
[b]“They had none of your sauce Pan, I hope you don’t mind”[/b]
DAVID ATTACKS MARCUS TO WARN ULRICH
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]The last person Ulrich expected to see when he opened the door was this time. He had met him only once and he never bothered to give him his name but Ulrich knew one thing about this man and it was enough to have his blood stop from running through his veins. Death eater. He should have expected it, he claimed he didn’t want anything to do with them and their project against muggleborns again. But in his mind he figured he was so unimportant to them that they would leave him alone.
[b]“Who’s there?[/b] Marcus asked but he froze as well when he saw the man. Unlike Ulrich, he had never met him but there was an evil aura emanating from this man.
He didn’t wait for the boys to invite him in to step inside. Ulrich had no choice but to step away and let him come in. A quick stare exchanged with Marcus had him understand the other boy was as scared as he was of what might be going on.
The man said nothing at first. He only took a good look at the man and didn’t seem satisfied at all. It was true that it looked more like the apartment of two muggles than two wizards, especially with the television and the phone. Ulrich wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He joined Marcus, as if standing side to side would give them the strength to fight off this intruder.
[b]“I heard you no longer believe in what we’re doing,”[/b] the man finally said, turning his cold gaze on Ulrich. His voice was calm yet commanding but it was this glitter in his eyes that made Ulrich worry. He was certain this man could do terrible things to them. He gulped, suddenly wanting to go back with their idea of punishing muggleborns for stealing magic from wizards. But he knew it was too late. He wouldn’t be here otherwise.
[b]“Ulrich understood he made a mistake. He doesn’t believe they stole anything from him and doesn’t want them to be punished like this,”[/b] Marcus said in his stead. He tried to look tall and sure of his words but he was the smallest in the room and Ulrich was tugging at his arm to bring him back against him and make him shut up. It was too late for that however, the man was now looking at Marcus.
[b]“I see...”[/b] he began to say. Ulrich didn’t like that. He saw what they did to those he accused of stealing magic. If they were able to do that to innocent people, what could they do to those who stood in their path?
[b]“Are you sure he speaks for you? What right those people have to own magic when you do not? It should have been yours. I thought we all agreed to this.”[/b]
[b]“Well, he made a mistake,”[/b] Marcus said, suddenly getting a bad temper as he protected his friend.
[b]“That he did. When he thought we would just let him back down like that.”[/b]
David Pucey was no man to underestimate. He pulled out his wand very and before Ulrich could do anything, he sent a spell at Marcus. [b]“Crucio.”[/b] Marcus fell to the ground, making inhuman sounds as the felt filled him entirely. Ulrich, panicked, kneeled before him. He wanted to do something but of course, there was nothing he could do to ease the pain.
[b]“STOP IT!”[/b] he yelled.
David eventually did. Marcus was panting, curled up on the floor. The spell might have been lifted but he could still feel the pain. Ulrich was on the floor next to him, holding the man really close to him.
[b]“Take it as a warning. Don’t let anyone else put ideas in your mind. Next time, they might not be so lucky.”[/b]
David had a disgusted expression on his face as he looked at the two boys.
[b]“Can you stoop any lower?”[/b]
Ulrich heard him but he didn’t reply. He didn’t care if his mere existence and that of Marcus offended the man, as long as he was leaving. He didn’t care for anything else but Marcus.
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Marcus barely said anything for the rest of the day. They didn’t even bother warning their boss. Anyway, everyone was afraid of death eaters and many shops closed or lost employees, their absence wouldn’t really but an issue. He brought Marcus to the bed after David left. He tried to take care of him but Marcus was not saying a word. He didn’t reply when Ulrich asked if he wanted to eat, he didn’t touch the sandwich he made for him. After a while, Ulrich joined him. He rested against Marcus. He needed that proximity right now, to know the boy was really still here with him, that this man had not killed him or anything.
[b]“I’m so sorry. I should have kept quiet, I shouldn’t have tried to leave,”[/b] he whispered at Marcus’ ear. One of his hands was resting on one of Marcus’. He caressed its skin. He was warm, he was alive, it was all that mattered.
[b]“I think you should. You can’t stay with them.”[/b]
Ulrich stiffened at his words. No way. He couldn’t do that.
[b]“They’ll kill you if I don’t do what they want,”[/b] Ulrich argued.
[b]“And they’ll kill you once they’re done,”[/b] Marcus replied.
Both very good points. They were screwed. Ulrich buried his face in Marcus’ neck. They couldn’t win, whatever they did.
[b]“There are people fighting them. If we find any, maybe they will help,”[/b] Marcus added.
Oh, why did he have to be the serous one for once? The danger was too great. Ulrich was seeing it, in big, red, flashing colors.
[b]“Not now,”[/b] he begged Marcus in a whisper and he repeated those two words over and over as he moved to kiss the boy’s face. Not now. Because, right now, he only wanted to feel his love next to him and not think at how easily he might lose everything.
MARCUS' MOTHER AFTER HIS DEATH
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Ulrich was awake. He barely slept last night and his eyes were wide open for quite a moment already but he had yet left the warmth of his covers. They still smelled of Marcus. It was all he had left of the man. If he left them, even to eat or go to the bathroom, he felt like the scent would disappear and Marcus would be gone for good. So he ignored hunger. He wasn’t all that hungry anyway. How could he be when Marcus just died in his arms! If he had to walk around the apartment, he did with the sheet wrapped over him. He was wearing nothing else, only the sheet. Oh, why the death eater did not killed him instead! He couldn’t bear it. He could still see the scene happening before his eyes and it was always a torture for him to pass near where he fell.
He heard the knocks on the door but he refused to get up and open. He didn’t want to see anyone. The phone didn’t stop ringing since the news of Marcus’ death, friends of his wanting to give Ulrich their condolences. It must be their neighbour, trying once again to force him to eat. Last time she came, he accepted to swallow some food and made sure the lock behind her so she wouldn’t be able to enter despite him not inviting her in.
The knocking had stopped and so Ulrich believed he could resume his depression in peace but the door suddenly unlocked itself and opened up. Ulrich frowned. He thought he was the only one with the key now. He was forced to realise he forgot about the owner who opened to a woman. She startled as he saw her coming into the bedroom. She too startled. Wrapped in the sheet, he left the bed and stared at her. She looked a lot like Marcus but even if she didn’t, he had seen pictures of the boy’s mother.
[b]“I came to gather my son’s things,”[/b] she said to him. The way she stared at Ulrich, her chin lifted up in the air, her eyes defying him to say no, he understood she wouldn’t accept that answer.
[b]“Now?”[/b]
[b]“It’s been two days already. He needs clothes for the funerals. And what would you do of his things anyway.”[/b]
She was right, of course. Marcus was smaller than Ulrich, it wasn’t like he could wear his clothes but that was the last thing he wanted to do, to pack the boy’s things. It would mean he was gone for good and he couldn’t accept that just yet. But, once again, she proved that she was not here to ask his permission.
[b]“Where are his clothes?”[/b] she asked. To hear her, you’d think she was annoyed to see Ulrich here.
He pointed at the closet. [b]“Everything in there is his.”[/b]
She probably wanted to do this alone but Ulrich couldn’t bear letting her go through his friend’s things without being around. She grabbed all of the clothes in there and tossed them on the bed. She put apart some formal clothes. She intended to have him wear this in his casket. Ulrich thought it was ridiculous. He never saw Marcus wearing this. He did only once or twice and for his mother. This did not define who Marcus was. That striped blue sweater she just tossed on the bed however, now that was Marcus. He always loved sweaters and this had been one of his favourite. Ulrich had to restrain himself not to push the boy’s mother away. He wanted to yell at her to leave these here. He didn’t want anyone else wearing his friend’s clothes.
[b]“Do you have bags? I don’t have any boxes. Oh, never mind,”[/b] she asked him before going to the kitchen and fetch those big garbage bags.
Ulrich took that opportunity to steal that sweater and hide it in his things. She wouldn’t have that one, no way. The sight of her placing Marcus’ things in garbage bags was so painful, he grabbed some clothes and made a retreat towards the bathroom. Would she come here after? He knew she came for Marcus’ things but was she able to erase all traces of her son in this apartment to the point of taking his hair products and bubble baths?
Once she was done with the clothes, she grabbed most of what belonged to him in the house. Books, albums, pictures, everything went into the bag. She left the few pictures of her son with Ulrich though. Obviously, she didn’t want to associate the two boys together. Ulrich was actually glad. He didn’t want her to take all of Marcus’ books and music but if it was the price to pay to have her leave him alone here with the lingering memories of his beloved friend, he was ready to pay it.
[b]“About the funerals...”[/b] she began.
[b]“I didn’t intend to go.”[/b]
[b]“Good, because I didn’t intend to invite you.”[/b]
Ulrich flinched at her tone. In a way, he deserved it. He kept using that tone about myself. It was his fault. Had he not been here, had he never met Marcus, the man would still be alive. Now he wasn’t. His mother fought the tears threatening to fall.
[b]“Magic. I told him it would only bring him trouble. Look what you’ve done to him.”[/b]
Ulrich could argue he was no wizard but he said nothing. She was so right. He caused her son’s death. He wished he had died too. Ulrich made a move towards the woman but she backed away.
[b]“I’ll take this down by my own, I don’t need your help.”[/b]
And on that, she left the apartment. Somehow, it didn’t make Ulrich feel any better.
KILLING HIS DAD
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[blockquote][blockquote][div align=justify]Ulrich couldn’t stay in that apartment anymore. He didn’t want to leave though. This was the place with all of his good memories, he couldn’t leave it behind. But it was not safe anymore. He knew Marcus wouldn’t want him to stay in that situation. He was right, they could easily kill him at any moment and even if he wasn’t against the idea of dying, he knew it wasn’t what he would have wanted. He managed to save enough money to keep the apartment for a while. As long as he paid the rent, the owner didn't really care whether Ulrich was staying there or not. He could keep it for three months. It wasn’t enough but maybe he could find some job with muggles, no matter how awful that sounded, and get enough money to keep the place while living elsewhere. He had an idea, but it terrified him.
It had been years since he returned home. He never kept contact with his family since he ran away. They had to know where he worked, perhaps even where he lived. He had seen them a few times but none of them tried to reach out for the other. Why would they, all of them got what they wanted. Ulrich was out of the house and they no longer had to deal with a son that was a shame for the whole family. But Ulrich had no one else to turn to. Family was supposed to be there when you needed help. Since he had no other solution, it was the place he went to. Home.
His father was the only one there when he arrived. And he froze at the sight of his son.
[b]“What are you doing here?”[/b]
Ulrich tried not to flinch but the tone was not engaging. That didn't start off well.
[b]“I need help, father.”[/b]
The words burned his lips. How could he call this man his father? After all he had done, or more like didn’t do. But the fact remained, this man was his father and, right now, he was the only one who could help.
[b]“I bet you do. But you got in it yourself, deal with it,”[/b] he replied, already leaving the sight of this man, not even hiding how disgusted he was. It was true that Ulrich looked kind of a mess right now. But he was also not ready to give up just yet. He followed the man as he walked towards his office.
[b]“Please. I wouldn’t be here if I didn't need your help. They will kill me.”[/b]
[b]“Well, you should have thought about it before siding with them.”[/b] Aaron stared at his son and had a grimace. [b]“Coming out in the open, seriously. Have you ever thought what it would do to this family, to everyone? You couldn’t simply stay in your corner where you belong. And now you dare come and ask for help, after throwing your family’s name in the mud.”[/b]
Ulrich was not entirely surprised to hear that kind of speech. He grew to understand they were ashamed of him being a squib. It was the only reason why they kept him hidden. Not because he was sick. But right now was not the time to be hurt about this.
[b]“I need a place to hide. They killed Marcus, I’ve got nowhere else.”[/b] His tone was pleading. He really was desperate.
Aaron only scoffed at the mention of his friend. [b]“Ah yes, that poor creature you were living with. I heard all sorts of rumours about the things you two had been doing together.”[/b]
Ulrich instantly stiffened at the tone his father used. He had always been protective of his friend, who rarely stopped people from talking badly of him. This feeling only grew stronger now that he was dead. Besides, it was way too early for him to deal with people talking of him. Especially not his father.
[b]“You didn’t know him. He was a god person and he tried to help me.”[/b]
[b]“And look where it got him to help you out.”[/b]
[b]“Shut up.”[/b]
[b]“He had it coming, opposing death eaters like that.”[/b]
[b]“SHUT UP!”[/b]
Ulrich shoved his father. Tears had been running across his face, unable to restrain them as he kept talking about Marcus but this was too much and he had to push him. What he didn’t expect however was for the man to lose his foothold and fall behind, his head hitting his desk real hard.
At first, as the man lied there, unconscious, Ulrich was unable to make a move. Then, slowly, his brain started t work again and point out that he hit his head pretty hard and that he was not getting back up.
[b]“Fa-father?”[/b] he stuttered, looking at the tall figure lying at his feet.
Quickly, he kneeled next to him. He was still alive but Ulrich would be damned if he knew what to do. He might very well have intracranial bleeding right now or whatever else of the like. His father always disdained muggle technology. It would have served him here. Because his son could have called for an ambulance. Instead, he could only look at the man, trying to wake him up, unable to apparate to St. Mungos for care. He did pull his father’s wand even though he knew it was pointless. Even if he was able to suddenly cast a spell, he knew none for the current situation.
He startled when he heard voices. His mother probably, perhaps with his sister. Not wanting to be found here next to the body of his father, Ulrich went to the glass door leading into the yard and ran as fast as he could before they could notice him. He ran until he could no longer breathe and then he stopped. He had no idea what he would do now but one thing was clear, he wouldn’t find help in his home.
ON MARCUS' GRAVE
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[div align="justify"][blockquote][blockquote]Ulrich had to ask Pandora to take him to his grave. He had no idea where their mutual friend was buried and the cemetery proved to be bigger than he anticipated.
[b]“I was expecting to see you at the funerals,”[/b] she admitted after he asked her if she could take him to Marcus’ grave.
[b]“Something happened with my family. Besides, I wasn’t sure I’d be welcomed,”[/b] he told her. She only shrugged at his words and took another puff of her cigarette.
He always liked that about her, how she seemed to act as if she never judged anybody. She didn’t ask what happened or why he felt that way. Even her words before didn’t sound like she held against him his attitude. It was acting like a coward, he knew that. He had been devastated when it happened. He didn’t even dare to show up as long as the war kept going on. Of course, Pandora had no idea of that war. She was a muggle, she knew nothing of this world and what happened in the past few months, how close she had been to seeing her life turn upside down by a bunch of megalomaniac wizards.
Ulrich couldn’t even begin to explain the pain he felt inside. It was his fault if Marcus died. He’ll never forgive himself. Just like he couldn’t forgive those wizards who thought they were above everyone who wasn’t one. Pandora didn't expect an explanation, at least not if he didn’t want to give her one. He could just smoke with her, the cold beer she gave to him as she allowed him inside resting next to him on her coffee table. She had one as well although it was done and probably hot by the time she swallowed the last drops of it. She had been painting all morning but welcomed his visit as a reason to stop and feed herself.
As soon as she ate that sandwich and he emptied her beer, she took him to the cemetery. During the drive there, he remained silent. He didn’t want to talk. He couldn’t talk. He wouldn’t know where to begin. But she knew all that. Even when Marcus was there and they were all happy he had never been one to talk much. He simply looked through the window, pretending he was used of cars even though he barely ever drove in one.
[b]“You know his heart just stopped? No doctors could explain it.”[/b]
[b]“I know. I’m the one who found him.”[/b]
[b]“Must have been terrible.”[/b]
And the silence again. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see this scene all over again. Never again. They arrived, she pulled over and he exited the car at the same time as she did. Silently, he followed her through the cemetery. There were just so many graves. He saw flowers on some. He should have thought of that. A brief but sad smile came to his lips. Marcus would have teased him if he did. [i]I never knew you were such a sentimental.[/i] He could just heard him say that to him.
[b]“It’s the one just there,”[/b] she said, pointing at a stone.
She understood he’d prefer to go there alone and remained a few steps away. Ulrich was grateful for this. He walked to the gravestone. On it, you could read MARCUS PILGRAVE 1974-1997 “Loving Son”. He was more than that, far, far more. Ulrich seemed afraid to make the few steps remaining between him and the stone. Marcus was lying under it, just there. He couldn’t come any closer. So he kneeled down. It seemed like a good compromise.
[b]“This is all my fault,”[/b] he said softly. Of course, there was no answer coming from the stone, or the grass. He still looked as though he expected one. [b]“They didn’t even learn their lesson. They act as if it’s a tragedy they need to put behind them. They...”[/b] but Ulrich couldn’t continue, the words got caught in his chest, choking him. He looked down, biting his lips hard. His eyes were burning from the tears threatening to fall. [b]“I was so stupid, I should have listened to you. We all should have. But I’ll make them. This won’t ever happen again.”[/b]
This sounded a lot like a vow. Maybe it was. All that Ulrich knew was that he couldn’t let this stupid wizards start another war because of their arrogance. They needed to correct so that no one would die like this again.
He stood up, stared at the grave again for a moment and then turned around. Pandora was still there, where he left her, waiting for him.
[b]“You want another drink? Or ten?”[/b]
He wouldn’t say no to that. Or to her warmth tonight, if she allowed him.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/div]
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